Extraversion’s outward orientation combined with Perceiving’s constant desire to find and gather new tools makes EPs doubly observant in a way. They focus on gathering as many options as possible, from as many different external sources, before making a decision. This also makes them doubly reticent to solidify on a decision, since the making of a decision can seem a little too final, cutting off other potential options that seem too good to lose.
EPs thrive off of having as many different options as possible, and when there’s just so much information, so much to do and see, so many different people and opinions and ideas, it can make it hardest for EPs to make decisions about what action to take, or what opinion to hold. It’s hard to limit all the complex and diverse information in the world down to a single choice or viewpoint. Actually making a decision, sucking it up to “just do it,” can seem to cut off painfully many valuable possibilities or alternative points of view.
However, all this can in fact be a powerful and needed strength. The EP drive to take in and consider numerous points of view can protect them—and others who listen to them—from making unwise, hasty decisions that would hurt themselves or others. In this way, adventurous EPs who love trying new things and seeing “what does this button do?” can actually serve as a voice of restraint to their more action-oriented friends, alerting them to options they may have overlooked.
Our culture often prizes decisive action over deliberation or observation, but that “leap before you look” hubris is the cause of much tragedy and misunderstanding. There’s no problem so bad, no crisis so dire, that swift, decisive, wrong action can’t make worse. As an EP, be proud to use your strength of observation, taking in and considering more and more options and points of view. As you do, you’ll find that you grow ever more comfortable being decisive when you need to be, able to choose the best option because you’ve allowed yourself freedom to observe. Yet if you let others make you feel guilty or silly because of this natural strength, you might resist developing it, and continue to take longer than you’d like when making decisions, and end up never really being happy with most decisions you have to make anyway. Enjoy looking at and trying options, be proud of it, and then you’ll naturally grow to do it with greater speed and insight.
It’s good for EPs to spend time enjoying all kinds of different options, rather than always trying to go forward and do “responsible” action. Without observing different options, action will go awry and opinions will become oversimplistic. Therefore, as an EP, recognize that it’s more responsible for you to slow down and play around with options! It is not responsible for you to hurry on and satisfy others by filling up checklists if it causes you to neglect your unique strength of seeing the possibilities that others might rush past.
As EPs try to force themselves to be responsible through action, they tend to shove down their real desires, and may end up fighting themselves, eddying around, and never really getting anywhere. You don’t need to rebel and throw out all desire to accomplish things, yet as you recognize that you’ll accomplish more by slowing down, as you let yourself be responsible by trying things out instead of always checking off goals, you’ll feel less guilty and you’ll become a powerful voice of sanity and sense to those who might rush headlong into decisive, hurtful actions.
Through its uniquely powerful ability to observe, Extraverted Perceiving excels in seeing nuance and patterns in the complexities of life, and most especially in people. EPs naturally know how to handle and interact with people and their reactions, seeing right to the heart of people’s motives. EPs may or may not be social, but they know how people work. They have an easier time knowing just how to get a laugh or a smile, how to cause shock or comfort, and especially how to push people’s buttons.
Overall, EPs are naturally oriented toward people. They constantly watch what others do and how they think, and then measure themselves by that yardstick and chart their lives accordingly. This makes them particularly affected by others’ opinions, beliefs, and advice, since they want to look outward and gather as many different points of view as possible. When making an especially complex or important decision, EPs will tend to try to gather as many different opinions as possible from other people, in order to see which ones seem to be the best. They’ll ask friends what they think, they’ll go to family, books, articles, magic 8 balls, even talk to themselves out loud, anything they can get their hands on.
But all this gathering of different sources can make it hard for an EP to acknowledge when they already know the right answer. When others around you seem to make compelling arguments that you know aren’t quite right, it can be hard as an EP to throw away their input, even when you know deep down that it’s wrong. EPs hate the idea of losing options or possibilities, and they sometimes feel as if disagreeing with someone’s opinion will cause them to lose that person as a source of information.
The solution lies in EPs’ natural strength in understanding the motives and character of people. Use that strength, admit when you know someone is or isn’t a good, reliable, or honest source of information, and you’ll find it easier to decide whom to trust and listen to. EPs are all about sources; they rely on those whom they trust as sources in order to help them choose how to navigate all the surprises and dangers of life. There’s just too much information otherwise! When EPs boldly choose good sources to rely on, instead of trying to cling to all sources, they feel safer and freer to exercise their gift of seeing right to the heart of anyone.
And nowhere is an EP’s observation of people stronger than in their observation of themselves. They have a natural ability to see and understand themselves and their own motives, which can often result in a healthy surge of self-love. But if an EP has been made to feel ashamed of the things they observe in themselves, especially if they’ve been made to feel guilty for having trouble choosing appropriate actions, then they may try to avoid observing themselves.
This can cause the EP’s bright glow of self-love to become buried under bitter self-loathing or sweetly apologetic self-demeaning. The nastiest jerks among EPs are often simply reacting to a self-hatred caused by their own reticence to observe themselves for what they’re really like and who they really are. Stung by guilt imposed as a result of their difficulties with taking reliable action, they fall into denial about the good they really see in themselves. Soon enough, they’ll start denying anything good they see in anyone else, too.
But when an EP embraces their ability to penetratingly observe everyone, especially themselves, then they won’t fall into denial of either the positive or the negative in anyone. They’ll be free to healthily be themselves without clinging to the parts of themselves that they don’t really like, and without suppressing the heroic, tender, powerful goodness within them. All this leads to a genuine confidence and a compellingly attractive swagger, which is entirely different from the forced confidence, insecurity, and inadequacy displayed by unhealthy EPs who avoid or deny what they see in themselves. As an EP, look inward, recognize that it’s most responsible for you to observe and experiment with options rather than rush forward with checklists and goals, and as you do, you’ll be excited to observe yourself, love yourself, and so lift the lives of everyone you interact with.
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