Being a cognitive Extravert has nothing to do with how social you are. Rather, it simply means that you naturally look outward at the world around you in order to form thoughts, decide on actions, and make judgments. You tend to observe, considering the opinions of others and the behaviors of your surroundings, and then you form thoughts from those observations. While cognitive Introverts naturally form thoughts in the quiet laboratories of their own heads before testing those thoughts against the real world, Extraverts usually form their thoughts in observant reference to the people, objects, and events around them.
Social extraversion, by contrast, is a behavioral habit that can change depending on a person’s situation or mood. Cognition is the natural framework of thought beneath all one’s changing habits and behaviors, the inner self that motivates all actions and attitudes of every kind. So don’t worry if you don’t feel particularly socially extraverted; that’s an entirely different matter from cognitive Extraversion. Most sources in books and online deal with behavioral habits like social extraversion or introversion, but those behaviors are not cognition. Behaviors are about what you do, which can change dramatically in varying situations, but cognition is about how you think, beneath any and all behaviors.
There are times to be socially extraverted and times to be socially introverted, and any healthy person of any type will learn to develop both. Being overly socially extraverted can in fact be a coping mechanism, a way to try to escape or distract oneself from personal doubts or insecurities. Likewise, being overly socially introverted can also be a coping technique, keeping others at arm’s length in order to avoid having one’s pain or weaknesses brought into the light. Either behavior can be enjoyed healthily or clung to unhealthily, and all people, of all types, can be equally healthy or unhealthy in their social habits.
Yet cognitive Extraverts, regardless of their social habits, approach all situations by looking outside themselves first in order to gather information. Everyone processes information inside their heads, and everyone observes outward, but cognitive Extraverts observe first before anything else. They look to the opinions of others in order to form their own, seeking to gather other points of view to create a reliable opinion of their own. Extraverts constantly harvest the beliefs, habits, actions, and abilities of others, in order to gauge how best to act and think. They’re always mentally looking outward.
Being so focused outward, Extraverts can find it difficult to make decisions without input from others; this can in fact induce some cognitive Extraverts to behave socially introverted! They prefer to have someone to bounce ideas off of, and can feel at a loss when left to decide on their own. On the flip side, though, this focus on other people equips Extraverts to better take into account the desires, reactions, and choices of others, adapting their own desires and plans accordingly.
Extraverts especially desire appreciation for all they do, and can feel particular hurt from feeling taken for granted. Everyone likes to be appreciated, but with their outward focus on the world and people around them, Extraverts have a natural need for their efforts and successes to be recognized and praised. This focus on other people’s thoughts and opinions can also lead Extraverts to be a bit morally relativist. It can be harder for them to stand up for what they know to be right in a situation, since they’re so used to considering the viewpoints of so many people. The objective facts of a situation can be very complex, and different people may view the same facts very differently, so this can make it difficult for Extraverts to stand up for what they really believe. They can of course learn to better acknowledge what they know, deep down, to be right, but their constant outward observation means that it comes a little less naturally to them.
All this observation can sometimes cause Extraverts to be pretty quiet, taking in information like a vacuum while silently watching and listening to everything going on around them. Their focus on observation can make them appear especially socially introverted at times. After looking outward to observe, Extraverts need to quietly process all the information they’ve gathered. They observe first, but afterward they tend to become very thoughtful and introspective. Wisdom, understanding, and quiet, thoughtful insights are equally available to healthy people of all cognitive types.
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