As a Feeler, you are not necessarily any more emotional, sappy, irrational, weak, or whatever else the numerous stereotypes may say about Feeling. Being a Feeler simply means that you focus first on the intrinsic meaning and significance of things, before seeking ways to put them to use. Everyone looks at both meaning and use, but Feelers focus first and foremost on the meaning and inherent preciousness of the world, events, and people.
This means that Feelers want ideas, people, and the world in general to live up to the meaning they see in them. When anything seems to fall short of its potential preciousness, such as when a person decides to be selfish, or a potentially brilliant philosophy turns out to be flawed, such failure will be particularly disappointing to a Feeler. Yet all this focus on meaning gives Feelers a compelling and powerful ability to see, understand, and then make use of the significance and meaning in people, events, and ideas. Meaning thus has a use all its own.
Any healthy Feeler will learn to care for the necessities of use as well as the wider perspective of meaning, but their natural focus will still be on meaning foremost. This results in a more zoomed-out view of everything, focusing on the whole picture and the purpose and meaning of each part within that picture. In a way, “meaning” is nothing more than “use in the context of the whole, big picture.”
It is the focus on this wide, sweeping meaning that gives Feelers an almost effortless ability to grasp the context of that big picture, even when they’re not at all aware of all its varied details. This provides a zoomed-out pragmatism, seeing what must be done in the context of the whole. Feelers therefore tend to find themselves focused more on end goals, which protects them from getting lost by focusing on only the road to get there. It is this sense of perspective and context that fuels meaning and gives it its unique usefulness, without which Thinkers might quickly paint themselves into corners.
The differences between Feelers and Thinkers have garnered a particularly large amount of stereotypes, many of which seem flat-out mean spirited. Feelers are no less rational than Thinkers, and Thinkers are no less emotional than Feelers; everyone, of every type, can and should be both healthily emotional and rational. And every cognitive type is equally prone to being overemotional, each in unique ways. The difference doesn’t lie between Feelers and Thinkers, but rather, between being healthy or unhealthy in general. An overly emotion-driven psyche is an unhealthy one, and every type is equally vulnerable to being hijacked by their own emotions in times of stress or weakness, each in their different ways.
Now, the wide, sweeping perspective of Feelers can sometimes appear to simulate greater connection with emotion. A focus on the meaning and significance of things within the context of the whole picture can generate great feelings of hope or despair, wonder or contempt. These are big feelings, and noticeable ones. Yet so, too, can Thinkers’ focus on the specific uses of things elicit more immediate emotions of joy or frustration, excitement or disappointment, or any other conceivable feeling. Thinkers are no less emotional than Feelers, and no less vulnerable or tender in any way. Feelers’ emotions focus more on the whole picture, and Thinkers’ emotions are most often applied to specific uses or misuses of things; apart from that, both can enjoy equal connection with emotion, as well as equal risk of overemotional irrationality.
And no healthy person, of any type, should indulge in irrationality or emotional subjectivity. Healthy Feelers are not subjective in their views; they seek to focus on the objective, measurable significance of things in the context of everything else, while healthy Thinkers focus on the objective and measurable use of things in their own right. Subjectivity, reaction, and impulsive emotion are neither a Feeler trait nor a Thinker trait; they’re simply human, and all types are equally equipped to master them healthily, in their own ways.
In the same manner, all types can learn to be in touch with their emotions and all the power therein, each in their own specialized way. To be human is to have emotions, and that’s good! Healthy, bridled emotions provide vital perspective that human thought alone cannot hope to contain. Healthy emotion reminds us of truths we might be entirely unaware of, even as we feel that they’re there. This is why emotion can be such a powerful, guiding light, at times dwarfing conscious reason. Yet this is also why runaway emotions are so dangerous, smothering all attempts at reason and balanced perspective, just as all powerful things are dangerous when they run amok.
This sheer power of emotions, and their ability to remind us of things our thoughts alone cannot keep track of, is why suppressed emotions always find a way to influence all our thoughts, views, and actions. This makes suppressed emotions much more dangerous, because their sweeping influence is ignored even while they steer conscious thought. The quickest way to be controlled by emotion is to pretend it isn’t a factor, thereby letting it run unattended in the back of our minds, coloring all experiences and skewing all opinions and ideas. Only unhealthy people, whether Thinkers or Feelers, attempt to suppress emotion, or indulge in being driven by it.
Regardless of how unemotional some may seem, those who are the most quiet about their emotions are often the ones who nurture them the most deeply, whether they mean to or not. Being a Feeler therefore does not mean you’re doomed to be weak, wishy-washy, or unreasonable in any way, nor does it justify such unhealthy coping mechanisms. And while some may attempt to be coldly unemotional, that desire is often a very emotional desire in and of itself, usually resulting from fear, loneliness, or pride.
Such attempts to be unemotional are an example of unhealthiness. While blubbery, stereotypical emotions can certainly get in the way of reason, so also can emotions like distaste, discomfort at unwelcome ideas, and disdain or pessimism block all rational thought. These sorts of negative emotions are still emotions, yet they often replace reason for those who consider themselves unemotional.
Yet when reason and emotion are nurtured together in their natural relationship, we can live safely above either extreme of overemotional subjectivity, or falsely emotionless hardness. We can cultivate a rational and honest approach to life by remembering that emotions, when heeded, will lead to new discoveries and protect from unseen hazards. Feelings of all kinds can help us prioritize where we should employ our thoughts and our energy. Without emotion, logic loses context and perspective, causing it to neglect key principles and wander into inaccuracy. Healthy emotion is free to all types, both Thinkers and Feelers, each in their different ways.
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